Jabari and Tekena had just risen from a cool spot at Ajegunle where
their friend, Pere had given them a good Sunday treat. They were drunk, and by
the time Pere excused himself to urinate, it did not occur to them that he had
gone home for good. He was heavily dazed to stupor. Madam Tee, the owner of the
drinking bar never bothered about her money, knowing that Pere would always pay
– having being in control. He had led the way when the three friends entered
earlier on. In his usual manner, he hailed Madam Tee as if the person he was
talking to was deaf.
‘The unbeatable Madam Tee…! The only Madam Tee in the universe!’ He
hollered.
‘Pere-winkle! Pere-whiskey! That’s me. We are not two in this town,’
she boasted while returning with her own coinage of Pere’s name.
‘Madam Tee. Wetin dey? My friends just show from Ebutte-Meta. I want
you to give them a good treat.’
‘O why! Everything dey. Isi ewu, nkwobi, fish pepper soup, which one
una want?’
‘First give us drinks before you serve us well. You know my usual
na. My friends na Star and Harp dem dey take.’
Momentarily, a fair-skinned girl with beautifully braided hair
sashayed forward with a tray containing three bottles of beer – Gulder, Star
and Harp and three glass cups. She positioned in front of the table where the
three friends had comfortably seated at a vantage corner inside the drinking
spot. They were busy engrossed in a discussion, but Jabari’s eyes took a sharp
squint and focussed on the service girl, Eno. What he saw enticed him and it
was obvious he needs to relish this flirtatious opportunity. He cast a leering
look on her fully developed breast which jutted out seductively inside a sexy bodice
that glued to her succulent skin like araldite and wood. Her luscious lips
clamped together displayed a chocolate-coloured lipstick with a minty-flavoured
wetlips, running atop it. It was invitingly glittering and tempting. She smelt
fresh from a mild flavoured perfume or cream which followed her everywhere she
went. Jabari could not control his lust as his eyes almost popped out staring
at Eno. His curiosity made it hard to find out if it was mere admiration or she
tried to read the inscription on Eno’s bodice. But as he twisted his neck
restlessly, the latter was confirmed. He heaved a sigh on finally picking the
wordings clearly – ‘I had it rugged on a hilltop.’ He went mad with ecstasy
without showing it out. He fantasized it were real, doing it with Eno. He
imagined himself on top of her spreading her legs wide apart and announcing to
the whole world as he screw the Blue Mountains
out of those gazellic eyes. He would then turn her, grab her hips from behind
and send her to ‘cloud nine’ on a doggy ride. He was still relishing in his Fantasy Island when Pere vigorously smacked the
back of his head after a wave of his fingers across his face severally did not
yield any result.
‘J-a-b-a-r-i,’ Pere drawled the word to suit the emphasis he wanted
to make. ‘You can never change. Wetin you dey think about this small girl? You
no go go marry?’
‘O boy,’ coming back from his catalepsy. ‘I be don go. Imagine wetin
dem write for the top of the person wey you dey call small girl. I swear this
girl don ripe. See her chest na.’
As Eno turned after emptying her tray, she swayed her waist to send
a sensuous signal to her hips which were concealed in tight blue low-waist
jeans. She twiddled her waist making her buttocks shook at every step as if she
knew what was going on inside the mens’ minds. Jabari head turned as a tinge of
fluid dropped underneath his trouser. He felt it and had to suppress it by
pressing his already turgid penis with his right palm. Pere noticed Jabari’s
dilemma and let out an expression, hitting Tekena’s shoulder and both of them
kicked off a raucous laughter.
‘JB, you don finish,’ Tekena teased.
‘TK, you no go understand. You see this girl waist?’
‘Na im make you wan disgrace yourself?’ Pere chipped in. Make we
drink comot for here before Ajegunle girls go suck you dry.’
‘Pere, no be this thing wey you dey talk o, if I see opportunity now
now, I go chop this babe o. Straff am clean I swear.’
‘E don do, make we drink.’
They settled down on their drinks as Eno came back with three miniature
mortars containing isi ewu sausage.
They had thin slices of fresh green utazi
leafs on top. As she bent to drop them on the table, Jabari took a steady
glance at Eno’s breasts pushing the pink bodice out. He went on a solemn
soliloquy ‘men, I feel like grabbing those balls in my hands.’ He squeezed his
palms and twitched his mouth licking his lower lips with his tongue as he
talked to himself. But he shrugged it off like a scale falling out of his eyes.
By the time the three friends realized that they had spent about
three hours at Madam Tee’s cool spot, they had emptied nine wooden bowls of isi ewu – three apiece. They had also
downed eight bottles each of their varied brands of beer. Their conversations
this time had assumed a dimension where other customers in the bar had been
co-opted into what was supposed to be private discussions on their private
lives and business. Pere, who was very popular in the area, had ordered free
beer for the gatecrashers. This also included Madam Tee and her service girls.
Jabari particularly made sure that Eno benefited from the free drink bonanza.
The atmosphere inside the open bar was now tensed with exhilaration with Pere
in charge as the controller-in-chief.
Madam Tee never had fears about her bill at all because she was used
to such scenarios in the past. She knew that Pere would always pay when the
tension died off. Most times, it was the day after such drinking sprees, except
he was broke. Madam Tee would equally understand and grant him that concession.
He would pay up whenever he got the money. He worked as a seafarer.
So, when Pere excused himself to urinate and never came back, Madam
Tee understood that it was one of his numerous antics of signing off at such
gatherings, especially when he had had his full. Otherwise, he would be knocked
off, heavily intoxicated. She knew what to do. Sum up the bill and keep for him
till his eyes were clear and senses back. His friends, Jabari and Tekena were
still downing what was supposed to be their last bottles. Their systems were fully
charged and their eyes heavy from drunkenness.
‘Where is Pere? TK, where is Pere?’ Jabari asked unconsciously as if
just realizing that Pere has left. ‘Perebowei, P-e-r-e,’ he pronounced the word
with such tautness as if the bearer was within ear reach. ‘Okay, Pere has
disappeared and left us to drink and die in this jungle. My God pass you,’ he
soliloquized. ‘TK, finish up and let’s go away from this zone before we get
swallowed in this coup that Pere has plotted.’
Jabari’s manner of language under his drunken state sent all in the
drinking spot reeling with laughter. His wit was just sharp, accentuating his
tone.
‘This guy is just funny,’ one of the customers who had benefited
from Pere’s goodwill of free drink threw in, to no one in particular.
‘TK, e be like wetin I dey talk no dey enter your ears. Pere don go
o. if you like sit down and drink more beer. I go soon leave you now if you no
ready.’ He tried to stand, but staggered. He got hold of himself but shove the
chairs around him to noisy screeches. ‘E be like me I go go piss my own too.’
He held the flap of his trouser as if he were unzipping it. He could not
maintain the balance. So, he fell to his chair again and drank up the remaining
content in his tumbler, leaving a trace of frothy foams on his well-trimmed
moustache. He is a handsome young man with an imposing stature most women could
not resist. He sprang up again like someone who had just recovered his strength
and motioned to Tekena.
‘TK, movement,’ he led out.
It dawned on Tekena that Jabari was serious now. He hurriedly rushed
into his mouth the last content of his beer in his tumbler in one gulp. He was
also drunk, but in control of himself more than Jabari. He staggered a little
to join Jabari who was already outside, facing the road.
‘Bob, how we go take connect the next bus stop (hics).’ Jabari asked
Tekena, fully aware that both of them were novice in the area.
‘Make we dey go first, at least na main road be this. We no go fit
loss like that,’ Tekena responded. He was confident that they would never get
lost in such an area.
Jabari and Tekena meandered one or two streets and got confused.
‘TK, na loss we dey loss so o. make we ask question before dem go
flash two adult like us for TV,’ Jabari posited.
‘Wait first.’
‘No be wait issue be this o. night don dey come o.’
‘Come make we follow that apiam way, e be like say e connect the
other side as people dey come out from there.’
‘TK, this no be time to assume. If night meet us, maybe rain come
hammer us join, na double wahala o. Make you look sky o.’
‘Make we try am first.’
They took the short cut and confronted a small open gate made of
zinc. It led them into a narrow rough footway. Darkness was gradually
encroaching along the path that looked like a cul-de-sac. The short avenue
actually served a great purpose for passers-by owing to the near pedestrian
traffic that kept this mini road busy. People trooped in and out, and seemed to
collide with one another due to its narrow and jagged platform. But the moment
Jabari and Tekena strolled in and joined the teeming passers-by; something
strange struck them about the corner. First, there were only two houses –
bungalows built alike and presumably for the same purpose. Both houses faced
this thoroughfare that was demarcated by a high wall fencing another compound.
Secondly, they countenanced a particular mood hovering within this vicinity; a
mood they could not decipher immediately; a mood that spoke that something
unusual takes place there. The latter discovery discomfited them. A tradition
prevailed there. ‘Oga, good evening’ rented the air as soon as they approached
the buildings on this blind alley. Each salutation came with special signs and
lip whistling, and they were only made to men. A jostle would follow should any
man showed any sign of stopping. They discovered that the figures who
masterminded these salutations were concealed in the dark balcony that
confronted these buildings – an extension that gave them enough space for their
activities. Their full identities were obscured by the condescending night.
Some of them stood few gaps from one another, while some were seated, close to
the entrance into the buildings. It was a dark verandah; so pitch as night
itself. The only glimmer of light there were red heads of burning cigarettes
from the lips of the figures behind the darkness. Wreathes of smoke from them,
gradually coiled into the air. Its odour mixed with harsh cologne oozing from
the dark covers sent a putrid smell around the environment, and almost made
them vomit. Jabari almost missed a step as he gave Tekena a light tap.
‘TK, na ashi zone be this o.’ But he did not understand.
‘JB, you say wetin?’
‘Na ashewo house be this o,’ he repeated. This time, a bit audible.
Before Tekena could hush Jabari that such names were forbidden in
such places, one of the women had already overheard him. The atmosphere changed
as if a sacrilege had just been committed.
‘Who talk that thing? I say who mention that word,’ came a high
voice from one of the dark balconies.
‘Wetin be that?’ another voice asked, concerned.
‘Somebody dey call him mama Ashewo for there.’
At the mention of the word, Tekena knew they were referring to them.
More conscious than Jabari, he pinched him to keep quiet so that they do not
find out they said it. The path was still busy with people passing. Only few
men were noticed entering into the brothel.
‘The person no dey talk again. You for talk make we bathe you with
business water,’ the second speaker thundered again.
‘Na so dem no go mind their business.’
Jabari and Tekena were now maintaining a quiet pace, almost
surreptitious and careful. Even the mention of ‘business water’ sent them on
wild imagination. Whatever it meant, they knew that there was something ominous
about it. Tekena gave a sign of the cross as he quickly discarded the thought
from his mind. His prayer was that he successfully dragged Jabari out of that
zone. But barely a minute after an averted saga between Jabari and the sex
hawkers, a drama broke out from the second building which they were now approaching.
A manly shadow was dragged out of the dark veranda, almost half naked. Though,
it was dark, they could still figure out something from the shadows.
‘You dey craze? How you go fuck finish, you no go pay.’
The words fell out so crude from the mouth of a figure that looked
like a middle-aged woman of about sixty. Jabari began to laugh, but Tekena
urged him to move faster as what seemed to loom ahead was big trouble.
‘But I tell you before we start say na N100 I hol.’ A younger voice
pleaded, shamefully. The situation was
not the one he would hide anything as far as he would be let off the hook. He
was already hanging his shirt on his shoulder and now on his boxers’ short
only. His villain gripped him tightly.
‘This boy don mental o. You hold N100 come find toto wey you go
fuck. You think say na akara business we dey do here? You no know say we dey
pay for rent here?’ A different voice entirely threw in from the side.
‘Abeg leave them, na them know as them negotiate. Make I face my own
business.’ A third voice said, insouciantly.
Upon the scene the young man and his accuser were trying to create,
no passer-by paused to watch the unfolding drama. All their movement were
usual, brisk as ever.
‘Nothing wey person no go see for this Ashewo people. So so fight,
quarrel, wahala all the time.’ A passer-by concluded, still going his way. His
luck was that there was commotion already; hence his utterance would have
incited serious trouble.
‘JB, waka fast make we comot for here before gbege burst for here.’
Tekena dragged Jabari gently as they left the scene on their way home.